* Google Plus provides you with another opportunity to pretend to be interesting to attract people from the opposite sex. You can then create a circle called "conquests" specifically for those you convince to sleep with you without them ever knowing
* You can say "Hey, can I populate your circles?" with a straight face to people and choose to "Hangout" with them over video. If this doesn't give you ideas I don't know what will
* Google Plus will give your lonely and miserable existence new things to aspire for. Instead of worrying about your following to follower ratio you can now worry about the ratio of people who put you in circles
* It gives you another opportunity to share your personal details with a multi-national corporation that already owns your life and eventually live the plot of the movie Terminator. Considering they host your website, have your credit card information, power your mobile phones, store photos of your house and know your search history - they might as well know where your only birthmark is
* Google Plus gives you the chance to +1 instead of Liking something you enjoyed on the web. This is the digital equivalent of saying you "like like" something instead of loving it
* It provides you another website to claim expertise on as a social media consultant, thus adding weight to your CV and helping con clients out of tonnes more money
* Hey, even Mark Zuckerberg is on it. And you're too cool?
